


Kiss a Kili

by grapalicious



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Kissing, M/M, Mistletoe, pretty much just quite a bit of kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-27
Updated: 2013-12-27
Packaged: 2018-01-06 08:15:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1104531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grapalicious/pseuds/grapalicious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kili makes it his mission to get as many kisses under the mistletoe as he can.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kiss a Kili

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is my first Hobbit fic (but probably, almost definitely, won't be my last). I've found that I've completely fallen in love with The Hobbit and everything about it over the last couple months. This plot bunny about Kili and mistletoe wouldn't leave me alone so I wrote this fic on my phone on Christmas Eve but didn't have a chance to post until now, so have some slightly late holiday fluff. I struggled a little because I didn't know if I wanted to include a main pairing and if so what that pairing should be (I ship just about everything in this fandom). So this fic is mostly Gen but you can draw your own conclusions about the ships.

It all came about, Kili supposed, because his uncle had been teasing him. Thorin and Kili were shopping for Christmas groceries and somehow stumbled upon the subject of significant others and romance and kissing. Not exactly one of the top subjects you want to be discussing with your _uncle_ of all people, but Kili was young and open and carefree and fairly confident in his good looks and didn't mind the conversation. Until Thorin had to go and insinuate that Kili might not actually be as good looking as he imagines and has probably not even actually had a real kiss. 

Now, Thorin said this with a smirk playing on his lips so Kili knew it was mostly meant in jest. Still, it didn't stop him from being indignant at the words. Sure he was just barely into his adult years and he hadn't had any significant partners in his life yet, mostly crushes and puppy love, but that didn't mean he hadn't had any real kisses. He had. He'd had plenty of meaningful, amazing, _real_ kisses, thank you very much.

Thorin only laughed and said, "Kili, I'm not sure you could get a kiss even if you stood under mistletoe all day."

Well, Kili thought, challenge accepted.

 

\----------

 

So, that's more or less how Kili found himself standing in the doorway that led to the kitchen in his uncle's house on Christmas Eve. Right underneath the mistletoe he'd hung. 

When Thorin had seen it, he'd rolled his eyes and told Kili he hadn't been _serious_ about the mistletoe remark. Kili was way too proud and excited and cheerful to take it down though, not at least until he had a decent amount of proper kisses.

Thorin grumbled and said that Kili was sooner to get a knock upside the head than a kiss from him and pushed past Kili into the kitchen. 

Kili just grinned widely and blew his uncle a kiss anyways. He told Thorin not to worry; he'd strategically placed the mistletoe so he could also help guard the kitchen because he knew how much his uncle hated it when people tried to meddle in his cooking process. Thorin looked slightly less exasperated and set about making Christmas dinner.

What Kili had told his uncle was mostly true, but he had also stuck the mistletoe there because he figured it was the doorway that people would be most likely to travel through- unless Kili wanted to place it above the bathroom door, but that didn't seem like an appropriate place to accost people for kisses. 

So kitchen doorway it was then. Now all Kili had to do was wait for his first victim- er, his first _volunteer_.

 

\----------

 

The first kiss Kili got, well, he hadn't really been expecting it. At least, not the way it happened.

Bofur had shown up rather early, before almost everyone else had. It wasn't out of a desire to help out or a sense of punctuality, but rather, as Bofur liked to point out, because the earlier he arrived, the longer he got to party.

Kili was pretty sure Bofur was already slightly tipsy by the time he arrived, not mention he brought his own supply of ale and wine with him. 

So when Bofur made his way into the kitchen "to get a refill", Kili hadn't expected him to stop thoughtfully in the doorway and gaze at the space above Kili's head.

"It's mistletoe," Kili told him, unable to keep the pure glee out of voice because if he played his cards right, he was about to get his first kiss under it. "You hang it up and you have to kiss whoever's standing under it. It's a tradition."

Bofur let out a joyful chuckle and turned a merry grin on Kili. "Oh, I know what it is," he replied happily, cheeks flushed from both laughter and intoxication. "It's one of my favorite traditions."

Then he swooped in before Kili fully even had a chance to realize what was happening and captured Kili's lips in a kiss.

The kiss was not entirely unpleasant. Bofur tasted of ale and his mustache tickled and Kili's own smile widened even as he deepened the kiss with an all too willing Bofur.

The kissing went on for probably longer than a kiss under mistletoe should, but they were able to break away before it got too inappropriate. Bofur flashed him a huge grin before he went to go get his drink and Kili leaned against the door frame wearing his own grin.

One kiss down. And as far as Kili was concerned, it was a pretty damn good start.

 

\----------

 

"Ah, look what we have here!" Fili exclaimed as he came to a stop beside his brother, his eyes locked onto the door frame above. "Mistletoe!"

"Indeed," Kili smirked at him. "I believe that means you owe me a kiss now."

"I do, do I?" replied Fili playfully. A mischievous glint that Kili recognized well shone in his eyes. He leaned towards Kili as if he was going to give him a kiss on the cheek. Except his tongue was sticking completely out of his mouth.

Kili swatted him away before his brother could lick him. Fili pulled back and laughed. Then his face softened and he put a hand on the back of Kili's neck and leaned forward again. He placed a gentle kiss against Kili's temple. 

Kili sent a soft smile back at his brother when he'd straightened. He placed a gentle kiss of his own on Fili's cheek.

And then he stuck his tongue out and licked a wet strip across his brother's face.

"Ewww," Fili cried, wiping at his wet face with one arm and elbowing Kili with the other. 

Kili howled with laughter and moved to elbow Fili back but his brother ducked out of the way and dashed into the kitchen.

Kili was still snickering as he heard Thorin reprimand, "Don't touch that, Fili!"

Turns out, licking Fili's face wasn't the best idea because Kili spent the next hour or so dodging attacks from his brother's tongue.

 

\----------

 

Balin gave him a wink and said he'd be honored if he was only a few decades younger, then gave him a fatherly pat on the cheek before going to pester Thorin.

 

\----------

 

Gloin flat out refused to kiss him on the principle that he was a respectable, married man who loved his wife very much. Which led to Kili listening to Gloin recite anecdotes of said wife for about half an hour. Honestly, Kili wouldn't have minded just a friendly peck from the guy, but eventually he was able to wave Gloin on, who left him with promises of sending his son Gimli along if he ever stopped hanging around with that prissy blond friend of Tauriel's.

 

\----------

 

Dwalin, Bifur, Bombur, and Nori went down the hallway and through the bedroom to get to the kitchen from the other entrance just to avoid him. 

And though Kili probably wouldn't have bothered them because Dwalin was even more likely to knock him about the head than Thorin was, he was still slightly annoyed. 

Kili was fairly sure that was considered cheating.

 

\----------

 

Ori wasn't a cheater though.

He'd wandered through the doorway and looked a bit perplexed when Kili stopped him and demanded a kiss. His face cleared in realization when Kili pointed at the mistletoe.

Ori'd seemed a tad bashful about it but he didn't hesitate at all to give Kili a close lipped, but firm and completely wonderful kiss on the mouth.

Yeah, Ori most certainly wasn't a cheater.

 

\----------

 

He got a kiss from his mother as she walked by. He'd been getting kisses from his mother all his life, but it was still nice and made him smile. Of course, since it was his mother, she then proceeded to pinch his cheek and proclaim what a handsome young man her son had grown into and how happy he'd make someone one day. 

Even though Kili was inclined to agree with her sentiments, that didn't stop him from spluttering and blushing deep red and firmly pushing her on her way.

 

\----------

 

He ended up giving Dori a kiss on the hand. It was the only thing Dori would agree too, though he laughed while Kili did it and protested that he wasn't some fair maiden. Well, at least he wasn't a cheater like Nori.

 

\----------

 

"Oh, sorry, Kili!" This apology came from one Bilbo Baggins as he accidentally stumbled and bumped into Kili.

Kili grabbed Bilbo's arm to steady him. "Careful there, Mr. Boggins." He grinned as Bilbo gave a small eye roll at the nickname, but Bilbo was smiling too.

He took in the rest of Bilbo's appearance. Golden curls, twinkle in his eyes, light blush on his cheeks. He sort of reminded Kili of one of those angels you'd find on top of a Christmas tree.

Kili frowned as he noticed the glass of wine in Bilbo's hand. He could of sworn they'd finished all the wine hours ago.

"Where'd you get that?" he asked Bilbo.

"Nicked it from Bofur."

Of course. Kili shouldn't have been surprised, Bilbo could be a sneaky thief when he put his mind to it.

"So, Master Burglar, it looks like there's mistletoe up there," Kili stated in a tone that suggested they were simply discussing the weather.

"So it does," answered Bilbo in a similar tone.

Kili flashed him a smirk. He brought his face a bit closer to Bilbo's. "Fancy stealing a kiss?"

Bilbo drifted a bit closer until their mouths were only a couple inches apart and Kili could feel the heat radiating off his cheeks. "Why would I need to steal one," he whispered against Kili's mouth, "when you're giving them away?"

And that was a fair enough point so Kili closed the distance between their mouths and gave Bilbo a kiss. Bilbo had to stand his tiptoes to comfortably reach Kili's lips, his free hand holding onto Kili's arm as Kili's hands rested on Bilbo's hips. It would have been chaste, perhaps, except that Kili felt so relaxed and Bilbo seemed so relaxed and Bilbo's mouth was soft and tasted sweet and Kili was quite content to let the moment draw out. 

Their lips were parted slightly but there wasn't really any tongue involved and they let their mouths linger against each other and when they pulled back they were both a bit breathless. 

Kili told Bilbo that he could steal a kiss anytime he wanted and Bilbo chuckled and disappeared into the kitchen.

Bilbo was the only one Thorin would actually _allow_ to help him in the kitchen because Bilbo happened to be some sort of wizard with food.

Maybe that was why he tasted so good.

Fifteen minutes later Bilbo came back through the doorway and Kili noticed a walnut cookie in his hand.

"Does Thorin know you took that?" he asked.

"No," Bilbo grinned and sounded entirely too smug. He gave Kili a quick little peck to the corner of his mouth and walked off eating his cookie.

Sneaky. Little. Burglar.

 

\----------

 

Tauriel almost crept completely past him. Kili was distracted by thoughts of food and it didn't help that Tauriel could be just as light on her feet as Bilbo was.

"Wait!" Kili cried out and flung out his arm to stop her.

Tauriel glanced down at the arm in her way and then at Kili, her gaze equal parts questioning and exasperated.

Jerking his head towards the ceiling, Kili watched as her eyes followed the movement. 

Then she stiffened and her eyes widened as she realized what it meant.

Kili could have sworn Tauriel looked torn between coming closer to him or completely running away.

There was something in her face and her eyes that Kili usually didn't see there. It was a sort of softness and vulnerability that almost contrasted the fierce confident look she typically wore.

It was different but didn't make her any less pretty and Kili darted in to give her a quick kiss that only brushed her bottom lip.

Tauriel's face went from its perfect paleness to a color that almost matched the red of her hair. She stammered something that Kili couldn't make out and then dashed off before Kili had a chance say anything.

It wasn't much of a kiss, Kili conceded. But it definitely still counted.

 

\----------

 

It never got through to Oin that Kili wanted a kiss. 

"Dis?" Oin practically shouted, even though it really wasn't all that loud in the house. "No, I don't know where she is lad. She's your mother, you ought to be able to find her yourself."

Kili gave a polite nod and made a mental note to tell Gloin it was time to get his brother a new hearing aid.

 

\----------

 

A tug on the hem of his shirt pulled Kili out of his daydreams of walnut cookies and he looked down. The source of the tugging came from a short, dark headed, curly haired boy. It was Frodo, Bilbo's angelic looking nephew. Kili vaguely wondered if all Bagginses looked like cherubs.

"Yes, Frodo?" Kili asked with a smile as he bent down to the boy's level.

"I heard you wanted kisses," Frodo answered sweetly and a little shyly, but also with a boldness Kili wouldn't have expected from him. Then again, he'd learned to never to underestimate a Baggins. 

"You heard correctly then, my dear Frodo." Kili angled his face towards Frodo, expecting the boy to simply give him a kiss on the cheek. 

So he was a little confused when Frodo stuck out his arm and offered Kili something that was sitting in his open palm.

Kili blinked and studied the small silver object in Frodo's hand. It was a thimble.

"What's this?" Kili asked, a bit baffled but still smiling.

"A kiss!" Frodo explained excitedly. "I know it's not how everybody kisses, but that's how they kiss in Peter Pan! I watched the movie earlier today!"

"Ahh," Kili made a noise of comprehension. "And what a lovely kiss it is. Thank you, Frodo." He opened his own hand and let Frodo set the thimble on it.

Kili looked at it in confusion once more as a thought occurred to him. "Frodo, where did you get this?"

Frodo smiled proudly. "I found it in Ori's things." Then his nose scrunched up as he thought for a moment. "Or maybe it was Dori's."

Kili chuckled under his breath. Either Bilbo was rubbing off on his nephew or being sneaky little burglars was an inherited trait. 

"Well, I love it," Kili told Frodo. "I just wish I had one to give you in return."

He shifted a bit closer to Frodo and lowered his voice as if sharing an important secret. "But I can show you another way to kiss. It's a very, very special way. Something you do with people you love and care about very, very much. Would you like me to show you?"

Frodo nodded eagerly.

Kili put his hands on Frodo's shoulders and brought their faces close together until their noses were touching. Then he rubbed the tips of their noses together back and forth in an eskimo kiss.

"And that," Kili told Frodo, "is how you give someone a very special kiss."

Frodo ran off happily and for the rest of the night he was seen giving eskimo kisses to anyone he could get his hands on.

Ori (or Dori) might never have gotten the exact thimble that Frodo had taken back again, but Kili made sure to buy them plenty replacements so that he didn't think they'd ever miss it.

 

\----------

 

So, all in all, Kili made a fairly poor guardian of the kitchen but a fairly decent partner to kiss under the mistletoe. 

Either way, Thorin grumbled about it. 

And Kili resolved that he'd have to hang up mistletoe every year.

**Author's Note:**

> And that concludes my first Hobbit fic. I know it's not perfect, but I tried. I wanted to make Ori's part longer but was just too tired to. I also have these headcanons that Bofur kisses so many people under mistletoe he eventually winds up with mono and Frodo now gives little Samwise eskimo kisses all the time. Anyways, I hope the story was enjoyable.
> 
> Also, I'm open to story ideas or suggestions.


End file.
